Tim Frodsham and Cathy Shaeffer, 20 November 2022
It has been over eight years since my wife of 37 years succumbed to cancer. I have spent much of this time representing the single adults in my church at the ward, stake and regional level. I can state honestly that these assignments have been an eye opener. Of the many auxiliaries of the church which include the primary, young women, young men, relief society and elders quorum, this is the most diverse. Men and women of all ages and varied backgrounds: divorced, widowed or never married. Single adults who have experienced the spectrum of disappointment, abuse, betrayal, joy, solidarity and friendship. Their desires and needs are as varied as their background.
Single adult activities are usually attended by one to two percent of eligible members, and it is always the same crowd. Single adult activities are the social life for most, and unfortunately, they tend to separate these members from their home ward families. Providing a social life for the singles has its place, but the main focus should be to bring single adults to Christ and to welcome them into their ward families. There are many dedicated people working to make the program a success, but I feel we can do more and do things differently to reach our singles. Rather than a top down approach, the single adult program should be bottom up, with the focus on the ward and welcoming these wonderful saints into their ward family.
The best way to bring people to Christ is through service, and as we shift the focus of our single adult programs to one of service, I believe that will happen. Attached are my thoughts on the responsibilities of the single adult program at the ward, stake and region level which I have shared with leaders at all these levels. References are to the church general handbook.
Purpose and goals of the Single Adult Program
Help each single adult feel loved and welcomed into their ward family. Inclusion in the ward is the key focus
Bring each single closer to Christ
Programs directed from the top have limited success. Approach the single adult program from a bottoms-up perspective where the ward is the nucleus of the program. Stakes support the wards in their efforts to serve the singles. The Regional Single Adult program supports the stakes and wards as its primary mission.
Activities are a tool, not a goal. Activities should be created with the purposes stated above. See 14.2.1.3 of the handbook.
All should become familiar with the single adult section of the handbook and tailor the program at every level in accordance with those guidelines
Ward Responsibilities to Singles
Call single adult representatives who are committed to serving the single adult community in the ward
For each ward activity, invite and include the singles as members of the ward
Keep list of singles up to date and disseminate to ward and singles leaders. Bring changes in singles status to the ward council
Prayerfully extend callings to singles in the Ward. Discuss in ward council how to reach the singles in the ward, and how to use the talents and abilities of the singles in ward activities. (See section 14.0 of the handbook)
The bulk of Single Adult activities and effort should be at the ward level
Ward Single Adult Representatives
Attend the ward council with a focus on the needs of the single adults in the ward. Be prepared for updates on upcoming ward, stake and regional activities
Work with ward Relief Society and Elders Quorum presidents to integrate singles into ward life and to both serve and be served in the ministering program.
Focus on the needs and concerns of the singles, such as transportation, inclusion and invitation to ward, stake and regional events.
Advertise single adult activities through the ward bulletin, RS and Elders Quorum newsletters as well as personal contact
Visit the singles as appropriate and work with ministering brothers and sisters who serve the singles to understand the needs and desires of each.
Stake Responsibilities to Singles
Assign to the single adult program a member of the Stake presidency, Stake high council
and Stake Relief Society presidency
Train ward leaders to extend calls to singles, utilize their talents and include them in all aspects of Ward life.
Call effective Stake Single Adult representatives
Support Ward, Stake and regional SA activities and efforts which further the goals of the SA program
Examples of such activities are:
Relief Society – Single Adult Social. Ward and Stake RS presidents testify to the single adults in a relaxed, social setting
Bishop – Single Adult BBQ. Bishops and Stake President testify to the singles in a relaxed, social setting
Events sponsored by the Single Adults such as dances, firesides and socials could be open to all ward or stake members as appropriate
Stake Single Adult Representatives
Train ward representatives
Programs in place and meetings to attend at the ward, stake and regional level
Understand church, stake and ward goals for the Single Adult Program
How to obtain singles lists and how to work beside ward leaders
Design and implement stake activities which bring singles closer to Christ and support inclusion into the ward family
Support regional activities, utilizing the existing stake SA committee and stake resources
Regional Responsibilities to Singles
Form a committee and infrastructure committed to supporting stake and ward single adult efforts
Design and implement regional activities which bring singles closer to Christ and support inclusion into the ward family
As much as possible, activities sponsored by the region should be open to all members. For example, dances and firesides could be sponsored by the regional committee and open to all members, with pot luck dinners beforehand reserved for singles.
Activities should be designed to encourage service by the singles to the ward, stake and region community. This encourages singles to mingle with members of their ward family in particular, and the church community in general
There should be a minimum of single events sponsored by the region so not to conflict with the inclusion of singles in ward life
Latter-Day Saints 