Guilt is a gift from God to bring us back to Him.
By Tim Frodsham. 11 September 2020
One focus of our secular society today is to minimize or even eliminate the concept of guilt. The idea that something feels good is justification enough for our actions. Many in our hedonistic society view guilt as something inherently bad which gets in the way our desires. Viktoria Duda is clear in her condemnation of feelings of guilt. She states, “Guilt is a negative emotion that serves us no good. It is as toxic as anger, hatred or ignorance. Feeling guilty is a bad, usually deeply conditioned habit. But as with any other bad habit, we’ll have a hard time letting it go.” 1 She continues her description of guilt as the “Universal Saboteur.” According to the world, if we feel guilty, we should change our feelings and suppress our guilty emotions. Guilt results in a loss of freedom and is another form of suppression. Feelings of guilt are considered unhealthy and are just another source of depression and low self-esteem. Because of this concept of guilt, religion is viewed with negative connotations because believers, instead of attempting to ignore guilt, view it as part of God’s divine plan. Christians believe that guilt is designed to bring us closer to Christ; it is the first step in laying our burdens at His feet. After repenting, the torment of guilt is replaced with a sweet spirit of forgiveness.
We see an example of the healing power of guilt and forgiveness in the Book of Enos, “And there came a voice unto me, saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed. And I, Enos, knew that God could not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away” (Enos 1:5,6). Without repentance, feelings of guilt fester and build as the impenitent refuse to accept or even acknowledge the Savior’s role in placing feelings of guilt in our hearts to begin with, and His power to absolve that guilt. The Savior does not change our past, but washes away the pain and penalty of our mistakes, replacing both with sweet forgiveness. The world has no such recourse. According to a seasoned psychotherapist, “The past cannot be changed, no matter how you feel about it. Excessive guilt will neither alter the past nor make you a better person. . . Excessive guilt is one of the biggest destroyers of self-esteem, individuality, creativity and personal development.” 2 With no effective way to resolve guilt according to the Lord’s plan, the world views guilt with disdain and as a barrier to happiness.
Guilt is designed by our Creator to draw us back to Him. Alma counseled his son Corianton after learning of his sexual transgressions: “And now, my son, I desire that ye should let these things trouble you no more, and only let your sins trouble you, with that trouble which shall bring you down unto repentance” (Alma 42:29). Therapists talk about alleviating feelings of guilt by acknowledging our wrongdoing and attempting to make amends, but even the best secular therapists have no access to the Savior’s ability to shine light into our darkness and wash away our guilt and shame through His atonement. “I had spoken hard things against the wicked, according to the truth . . . wherefore, the guilty taketh the truth to be hard, for it cutteth them to the very center “(1 Nephi 16:2). We need to be cut to the center, driven by guilt in order to unlock the power of repentance.
Being cut to the center is the essence of the path to repentance. The Lord uses guilt to illuminate our culpability, which can either bring us to Christ, or drive us to insensitivity. “Wherefore, we shall have a perfect knowledge of all our guilt, and our uncleanness, and our nakedness; and the righteous shall have a perfect knowledge of their enjoyment, and their righteousness, being clothed with purity, yea, even with the robe of righteousness” (2 Nephi 9:14). As Brother Steven W. Owen states, “Repentance is uplifting and ennobling. It’s sin that brings unhappiness.” 3
Shame is intertwined with guilt in many conversations on the topic. Brené Brown contrasts the difference between guilt and shame. “Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior. Shame is I am bad, guilt is I did something bad.”4 Nicole Lyons also contrasts the negative impact of shame “The effects of shame are never healthy or constructive; in fact, they are often times damaging and even catastrophic.” 5 Even Christians who understand and accept the Atonement confuse shame with guilt which builds a stumbling block to Christ. We cannot shame someone to repentance. Alma, instead of shaming his son, petitioned the Lord continually for a change of his heart and an angel of the Lord confronted Alma the younger: “The Lord hath heard the prayers of his people, and also the prayers of his servant, Alma, who is thy father; for he has prayed with much faith concerning thee that thou mightest be brought to the knowledge of the truth.” (Mosiah 27:14)
A great lesson in the power of guilt without the use of shame came from a friend with a large family and who I greatly respect and admire. We did a lot of service together, particularly in Scouting. At the birth of one of my sons, I even felt impressed by the spirit to name my son after him. Years later, attending a wedding in the temple, my wife and I left after the sealing to pay him a visit. We exited the celestial room and the temple to drive to the prison where we presented our identification and were then escorted through clanging door after door. It was a literal descent from heaven into hell. During our conversation with my friend, we talked about the temple, particularly about the young couple who were just married, known to him as well. My friend wept. His sole desire was to someday return to the temple, even if was as a janitor to sweep the gutters. I had no justification, need, or even desire to shame him. That was the Lord’s prerogative. The sting of guilt, the desire for repentance and the washing away of our sins through the atoning sacrifice of our Lord and Savior are all gifts. Eventually, my friend did return to the temple, with full blessings.
Another point to consider is that feeling guilty and being guilty can be two different things, and the adversary tries his hardest to disassociate the two. We may be guilty and not feel guilty, as was the case for Alma. We commit sin but are so inured to the feelings of the Spirit that we think we find happiness in our own wickedness. This is where the spirit works to soften our hearts and give us perspective. It may not be in for form of an angel, as it was for Alma, but the Lord places experiences in front of us to recollect out guilt. We may feel guilty for actions over which we had no control, anguish for the actions of others. Here too, the Savior’s atonement can wash away the remorse and false sense of guilt, heal our souls, and give us peace. To feel guilty because we are guilty is a gift from God as it leads us to repentance. “Repentance isn’t His backup plan in the event we might fail. Repentance is His plan, knowing that we will.” 6 We cannot change our past actions, but our Savior changes the consequences.
Finally, delaying or refusing altogether to submit to the promptings of our conscience is another way believers misuse the gift of guilt. Elder Eyring states, ” The Lord knew we would be tempted to procrastinate the most important preparation we could ever make in this life. More than once He warned us about delay. He taught the parable of the ten virgins, five of whom did not fill their lamps for the coming of the bridegroom.” 7
Guilt is a tool used by the Savior to humble us, to bring us to trust in Him, to care less about what the world thinks of us and more about what our Savior and Redeemer thinks of us. Shame and embarrassment are tools used by the adversary to delay our repentance and our realignment with His will. The power of repentance and forgiveness is far stronger than any worldly perception or attitude. “Real repentance must involve faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, faith that He can change us, faith that He can forgive us, and faith that He will help us avoid more mistakes.” 8 His forgiveness overcomes all.
- “The Two Faces of Guilt” Viktoria G Duda,
- http://www.viktoriaduda.com/two-faces-of-guilt.html
- “Guilt: The crippling emotion” Maud Purcell, https://psychcentral.com/lib/guilt-the-crippling-emotion/
- “Repentance is Always” positive” Stephen W Owen, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2017/10/repentance-is-always-positive?lang=eng
- Brene Brown TED talk: Listening to Shame, Brenebrown.com
- “Saying goodbye to Guilt and Shame” Nicole Lyons, https://blogs.psychcentral.com/embracing-balance/2015/06/saying-goodbye-to-guilt-shame/
- “Until Seventy Times Seven”, Elder Lynn G. Robbins, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2018/04/until-seventy-times-seven?lang=eng
- “Do Not Delay” Henry B. Eyring, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1999/10/do-not-delay?lang=eng
- “Repentance, a Joyful Choice” Dale G Renlund, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2016/10/repentance-a-joyful-choice?lang=eng
Latter-Day Saints 